Tuesday, August 7, 2012
National Lifeguard Application
Next to each question please write yes, no or I don't know.
1) Can you swim? (minimal requirement is doggy paddle)
2) Are you attractive? (minimal requirement is 7 out of 10)
3) Do you know how to use a whistle?
4) Is your favorite show Bay Watch?
5) Do you look good without a shirt on?
6) Is temporarily making out with the same sex a problem for you?
7) Do you know the difference between an ocean, a lake and a pool?
8) Can you look cool wearing sunglasses while sitting in a giant chair?
9) Are you allergic to sand?
10) Can you tolerate screaming, crying and whining kids for an extensive amount of time?
11) For male applicant: Do you have at least a 4-pack?
12) For female applicant: Do you have at least a C-cup?
13) Are you good at charades?
14) Are the words radical, gnarly, cowabunga, or bodacious in your vocabulary?
15) Were you able to read this application?
Please mail to your local beach or country club.
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 12:37 PM