Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Lifeguard Application


National Lifeguard Application

Next to each question please write yes, no or I don't know.


1) Can you swim? (minimal requirement is doggy paddle)

2) Are you attractive? (minimal requirement is 7 out of 10)

3) Do you know how to use a whistle?

4) Is your favorite show Bay Watch?

5) Do you look good without a shirt on?

6) Is temporarily making out with the same sex a problem for you?

7) Do you know the difference between an ocean, a lake and a pool?

8) Can you look cool wearing sunglasses while sitting in a giant chair?

9) Are you allergic to sand?

10) Can you tolerate screaming, crying and whining kids for an extensive amount of time?

11) For male applicant: Do you have at least a 4-pack?

12) For female applicant: Do you have at least a C-cup?

13) Are you good at charades?

14) Are the words radical, gnarly, cowabunga, or bodacious in your vocabulary?

15) Were you able to read this application?

Please mail to your local beach or country club.




11 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Numbers 4, 6, 10, 11, and 14 take me out of the running. (On a scale of 1 to 10, I do make it to 8, but I'm a can short of a 4-pack.)

Mark said...

From the sounds of it I am not cut out to be a lifeguard. :(

Pat Tillett said...

I don't have a four pack, my stomach looks more like a keg!

SM said...

good questions for the job of life guard

Adam said...

Funny

DWei said...

I failed the application. Back to fastfood work for me.

AguiLeon said...

im not qualified for this lol

Chuck said...

I think I will continue to just watch the lifeguards...

Ms. A said...

I'm a miserable failure!

nutschell said...

ack. I can't even doggy paddle and I was born in an archipelago composed of 7107 islands!

Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com

Baby Sister said...

Dang. Number 15 smashed all my dreams.