Thursday, August 23, 2012

Medical Jargon


New definitions used in medical reports

Negative patient care outcome ............ the patient died

Mental activity at the margins ......... insanity

Therapeutic misadventure ................ medical malpractice

Hematophagous arthropod vectors ............................. fleas


Spontaneous bowel contraction..................................... shit your pants

Engorged cellular depositing...................................... fat ass

Misfiring synaptic responses....................................... stupid

Underdeveloped phallic response................................ can't get an erection

Aggravated bovine ejection .............. being bucked off of a bull

12 comments:

Ms. A said...

I suffer greatly from misfiring synaptic responses.

Ms. A said...

... and engorged cellular depositing!

Mark said...

The last one sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is. I can see these passing in to common usage really too.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Last one is funny!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Suburban Media Information Conduit - Paperboy.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Next time someone stupid pisses me off, I'm just going to call them an engorged cellular deposit. It's fun to insult someone when they have no idea what you're saying.

Al Penwasser said...

Catastrophic O-Ring Malfunction......diarrhea.

Birgit said...

Are there T-shirts to go along with these statements?

Chuck said...

I think I win...that last one is NOT a medical term right???

Baby Sister said...

Engorged cellular depositing is by far the most hilarious.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Misfiring synaptic responses - hehe, Q should have used that one on Star Trek!

Pat Tillett said...

I usually try to avoid spontaneous bowel contractions. Well, in public anyway...