IHop Review Repost

I am not feeling very creative today so I am reposting something from 2010 that you probably haven't read. Enjoy.

The International House of Pancakes isn't as international as you think it would be. Locations outside of the United States only include Canada and Mexico. That is what I found when I went on their website. They will go global someday but I guess I will cross off IHop as an eating option when I travel abroad.

Nicole and I dined at the 'hop last Friday afternoon. I wish it had been my first experience there so I could give you a first time review but that will happen eventually with some other establishment.

Nicole ordered the stuffed french toast (I think, don't quote me on it) and I got the new country loaded potatoes with a side order of Nutella crepes. They looked so tasty on the menu that I couldn't resist. Let me tell you, the potatoes were out of this world, they had monterey jack and cheddar cheese, cut up bacon pieces, green peppers, onions and sour cream. I like to add a little ketchup for added flavor. Ketchup is the shit and that's how I roll. The crepes on the other hand weren't as great. The menu said (as if the menu could talk, if it could I imagine the voice of James Earl Jones) it had Nutella filling with bananas, nuts and a strawberry topping. The bananas and strawberries were delicious but there wasn't enough Nutella. I think we got gipped, I was a little disappointed, there were a few tears.

I had also ordered a new coffee they have cooked up, there were a few tasty flavors to choose from but I went with a favorite: french vanilla. The java was served in like a soup bowl and it was heavenly. I wish I had spent more time drinking the coffee than eating the Nutella-less crepes. SIDE BAR: I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode where the Dominicans that Kramer hires start working at the crepe place and they roll them too tight and everybody gets burned with hot fruit sauce. This new coffee wasn't their regular brew, it was magical and I was drinking it like it had cocaine in it (I just assume that I would be be immediately addicted, for the record I have never experience cocaine. I need to get that out for it might hurt my future presidency).

WAITRESS THOUGHTS:

Oh look, I actually got a table.... this place is like the frickin' Sahara today.

They better leave a good tip. I have such bad PMS and I will burn this mother down.

They want all that plus an order of crepes? I'm not calling 911 when they both have heart attacks.

Why is he putting ketchup on his potatoes? Does he realize that they aren't french fries? Dude, this isn't Mickey D's.

I just ripped one, do they smell it yet? I think I better check my panties.

I need a cigarette so bad. Why don't you just leave, stop stuffing your faces and leave already!!

I'm starving, I wonder what they would do if I just sat down and started to eat their food?

Looks like they're done...I'll take his plate...oh...he wants to keep it?...Why?...there are only two crumbs on it.

Is he gonna lick the plate clean? I hope not....we didn't even wash the plates.

Now he wants me to take his plate when I just asked him like 30 seconds ago...arghh! I hate my job!

If they order something I else, I will stab them both in the eye with their forks.

I bet he's gay.

Did she just pick up the check? What a cheap fucking bastard. That ring better be real or he's in trouble.

Screw it, I'm going on break, they don't pay me enough to wait on these people. I'll send the new girl over to send them on their way.

Resume review. It used to be that you would pay the cashier on your way out but we had to pay our server this time but the register is still there, WTF? And we saw somebody paying the cashier on our way in. I don't understand. This was definitely my best experience at IHop. The food was phenomenal and the new coffee is exquisite. I don't care that I probably gained 10 pounds, it was all worth it. One of the things I realized is that you really can't take breakfast leftovers home, everything is covered in syrup or ketchup. You have to be committed to eat what you get. I give IHop a full stomach. I'm making that the equivalent of 5 stars.

If you have never eaten at an IHop then you should be ashamed of yourself. Go right now, a lot of them are open 24/7. You know you want a short stack at 3 am. I want to thank Golden Girl (who is my fiance Nicole) for helping me with this post. She came up with most of the waitress thoughts.