Thursday, March 7, 2013
The Oscars are over and Seth Macfarlane was a terrific host. I actually watched them for the first time ever this year. What I observed was that there are too many damn categories and it takes way too long to go through them all. What you don't know is that there were a lot more categories that they didn't get through because the show ran too long.
Best Supporting Cameraman
Recognizing the men and woman that can keep a camera still the most.
Cameraman #2 for Argo
Cameraman #3 for Lincoln
Cameraman # 3 for Pitch Perfect
Cameraman #3 from Pitch Perfect (real name unknown)
Acceptance Speech: "I would like to thank all the girls for looking hot and for not being creeped out for my staring."
Actor in a Leading Role's Mom
Recognizing the moms that decided to keep the baby.
Bradley Cooper's Mom (Silver Linings Playbook)
Mark Ruffalo's Mom (The Avengers)
Anne Hathaway's Mom (The Dark Knight Rises)
Mark Ruffalo's Mom
Acceptance Speech: "I still don't know what a Hulk is but I am proud of my little Mark."
Best Film Title That Can Be Easily Turned Into A Porno
Recognizing how dirty our minds can be.
Silver Linings Playbook to Semen Lined Playboy
The Dark Knight Rises to The Dark Cock Arises
Beasts of the Southern Wild to Breasts of the Southern Woman
Silver Linings Playbook
Acceptance Speech (by some writer): "This has always been my dream since I watched my first porn at 8 years old."
Actress in a Supporting Supporting Role
Recognizing the women that make understudying an art.
Shelley Regner for Pitch Perfect
Nicole Lovince for Pitch Perfect
Wanetah Walmsley for Pitch Perfect
Shelley: "I would like to tha..."
Nicole: "Let me talk, you are always hogging the spotlight."
Wanetah: (pulls both girls hair) "Stop being childish, thank you from all of us."
Best Use of a Tiger
Recognizing that tigers are just as scary as sharks.
Life of Pi
None - Due to the fact that no one voted
I will inform you if I find out anymore categories that were kept under wraps or weren't on tv.
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 11:15 AM