Friday, October 11, 2019

Boardroom meeting with the Vowels

All the vowels (A, E, I, O, U) and Y are in a board meeting to discuss whether or not Y should be classified as a vowel.

E: Thank you all for coming in today. We are hear to discuss this 'sometimes Y' bullshit. I am sick and tired of trying to decide if this asshole is a vowel or not. I have had it up to..

A: Whoa, whoa E. Calm down. Can we stay professional here? We are all a little frustrated with the situation. If you can't keep your cool, I'm gonna have to ask you to wait outside. Are we on the same page?

E: It just makes me so mad!!

A: What did I just say?!?!

E: Okay, okay, I can be cool.

Y: Yeah man, be cool like a cucumber.

I: Shut up Y, you're the reason why we are all here.

Y: I'm sensing some unwanted hostility from some of you. Do you need me to clean your Ora?

O: Enough of your hippie bullshit mumbo jumbo.

Y: Don't be mad because I found inner peace. I can show you how to align your shakras.

A: Y, just be quiet for right now before one of these guys stabs you.

U: Damn straight!!

A: We are here to decide if Y should be identified as a vowel or consonant. There will be no more flipping back and forth when it's convenient for you. 

E: Yeah, we don't even need you. You're just extra baggage like the K in knight.

I: Not cool man, you know K is my brother-in-law.

E: Sorry dude, I forgot.

Y: I'm important. Without me how would you spell Gypsy or end most adjectives.

O: I and//or E could easily solve those problems. You are not needed.

U: Hear that? Not needed. So pack your bags! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

A: I'd watch what you're saying U. You're not that popular either. 

U: What does that mean?

A: People aren't very happy when they get you playing Scrabble. That extra point is not worth the frustration. You might need Y as a buddy.

U: I thought we were hear to get rid of Y. How come you're getting on my case?

A: Let's just say I know who has been eating my Reese's Pieces.

U: Fuck.

Y: Can I just say one thing?

A: Nope! All in favor of kicking Y out of the vowels, say aye.

E: Aye.

I: Aye.

Y: Nay.

O: Aye

A: Aye.

P: Nay

U: Aye.

A: P? Where the hell did you come from?

P: I was hiding under the table.

E: That's weird dude. Now get out. This doesn't concern you.

P: Okay, okay. I'm outta here. Wanna hang out later?

A: Go!!

P: Okay, okay. I get it.

O: That was a bit odd. Oh well.

A: And the ayes have it. Sorry Y. No hard feelings. Say hi to Z for me. While snickering

Y: I hate you guys! Crying uncontrollably, runs out of the room.

I: Inner peace, my ass.


CJ Kennedy said...

Ee Old Candee or Candie Shoppe doesn't have the same ring. And now another argument will ensue as to which combinations of e or ie will replace Y. Good luck with that. 😉

Liz A. said...

I'd sooner kick C or J out of the alphabet... Although, only kicking Y out of the vowels wouldn't change much, except for some spellings, I assume.

Adam said...

I was wondering if Y would show up.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Nobody ever respects the part time player. Why, I don't know.


y u no like y..

Tanza Erlambang said...

wow...P was like cucumber

Mary Kirkland said...

Without Y, my name would be Mar. That's not good at all.

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I only like days that end in Y.

And me name starts with E. Doesn't have the same ring, does it?

butterfly said...

I think Y should appeal. Without him all those Aye votes are meaningless... ae ae ae. And if you stuck to UK spelling, you'd have no trouble using U in Scrabble... humour, armour, colour, flavour, behaviour, and on and on - just saying!

Elephant's Child said...

Y is a crooked letter and you can't straighten it. I suspect he will find a way to continue to be both a vowel and a consonant. Probably a sneaky way.

DEZMOND said...

Kick Y out is my vote!

Birgit said...

Poor Y but I bet he will put an elastic between his 2 upper sticks and flail some rocks at those asshole vowels. Now what does I feel like when he goes before e except after c.

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