Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Inside the Actor's Studio


Once again I am filling in for James Lipton. He should really see a doctor, he is out sick quite a bit. Our special guest today is Lamp Chop from 90's show Lamp Chop's Play-Along.

PTM: Thanks for stopping by Lamb Chop. How have you been?

Lamb Chop: I'm okay, times are hard for a once famous lamb. People look at me now and whisper "that lamb was once in some kids show, now look at her." I just want people to know I have grown! It’s like Selena Gomez’s breakthrough performance in “Spring Breakers” I need that, I can be a bad little lamb.

PTM: It will be 15 years this August since Shari Lewis passed away. Have you been able to cope with her death?

Lamb Chop: It was very difficult for me, she always told me my “purity and innocence” would always bring people in, I always had to be that way with her. It was like I was living a double life, innocent little lamb by day and freaky little lamb by night. I am happy she is not here to see that, it would break her heart; the drugs, the men, the men trying to ride me when they were on drugs… complete shit storm.

PTM: I knew you had a little freak in you. Dating anyone nowadays?

Lamb Chop: Nothing serious, I am still trying to figure out what I want, I definitely swing both ways, but I am torn. Guys are always a good time of course, I mean what girl doesn't want the dick?  But they are such douche bags. Girls are more sensitive, and understanding, I have a serious girl crush on Jessica Rabbit.

PTM: What a coincidence, I have a crush on Jessica Rabbit too. I don't think she feels the same way because she has never replied to any of my letters. I heard a rumor that you have a mint jelly fetish, is this true?

Lamb Chop: Well you heard right, but its not what you think, it’s more of a fetish in the bed room …. Some people use whipped cream, I use mint jelly.

PTM: That's exactly what I was thinking. What is your biggest fear?

Lamb Chop: Tailgate parties. Drunken motherfuckers, grills, and a lamb. You do the math.

PTM: Mmm grilled lamp chops (starts salivating). Sorry, forgot who I was talking to. If Hollywood was to make a movie about you, what actress would play you?

Lamb Chop: Mmhhmmm, I am thinking Pamela Anderson makes a come back by debuting in a movie about me, the resemblance is there for sure.

PTM: I'm sure she has had a hand up her before. I have a chocolate pudding stain on my couch, what do you recommend to get it out?

Lamb Chop: Are you on drugs?

PTM: Only Viagra and Benadryl. I still have that song from your show stuck in my head. Has the person that created that song been murdered yet?

Lamb Chop: It was a children’s show you dickwad, A CHILDRENS SHOW!

PTM: Whoa, didn't know that was a touchy subject. What is your favorite cheese?

Lamp Chop: You are definitely on drugs, damn it this is what I mean, never taken seriously you took drugs for this damn interview because you thought it would make this “joke” even funnier.

PTM: I take drugs for every interview. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

Lamb Chop: Get fucked! (walks away while mumbling to herself) Damn it, my agent is going to kill me.

PTM: I guess I'm eating dinner by myself tonight. That's all the time we have today. I want to thank Lamb Chop for taking time out her day to sit down with us.

I want to especially thank my coworker Shaden for playing the part of Lamb Chop. She did an awesome job for her first guest post. She is thinking about joining the blogosphere and starting her own blog. Do you think she can bring the necessary snark?





15 comments:

Addman said...

Anyone who thinks that lamb chop should use words like "mother fucker" should DEFINITELY write a Blog.

Adam said...

I'm glad I never watched Lamb chop

Francis Lee said...

What a mouth on that lamb!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

There went your lamp chops. She's old though. Probably would've been chewy.

Birgit said...

She needs a blog...needs one bad! Does Lambchop miss that hand up her nether regions and did Shari use mint jelly to make it easier for that hand job, I mean it makes sense. Why do I crave goat cheese? Does it go well with lamb?

Al Penwasser said...

I actually thought people whispered, "That lamb once had someone's hand up its ass."
Who knew?

Baby Sister said...

And another kid star down the drain...

A Beer For The Shower said...

As someone who minored in snark in college, YES, get that woman a blog, stat!

Pearl said...

Does it mark me as "sick", how much I enjoyed that?

Pearl

Sheena-kay Graham said...

Oooh you pissed of Lamb Chop. I'd sleep with one eye open and oven mitts.

klahanie said...

Gosh Lamb Chop, you were one of the bestest shows ever!

And Shaden, well done. Start your own blog.

Of course, being from Canada, I actually preferred "The Friendly Giant." And that was a TV show, before you ask. Did you ever meet "Rusty the Rooster"?

Elsie Amata said...

Shaden has what it takes to start her own blog for sure!

I think I had a crush on Jessica Rabbit too...

Bossy Betty said...

Lamb Chop's got 'tude. I like that in a lamb.

DWei said...

I could barely get through her interview without thinking about how delicious some lamb chops would be right now...

Pat Tillett said...

Another child star gone down the tubes...