Thursday, June 13, 2013

Deathbed Confessions



Hillary Clinton - "I got a blow job from Monica too."

Dustin Hoffman - "Tom Cruise propositioned me on the set of Rain Man."

Jennifer Lopez - "Taco, Taco, Burrito, Burrito."

George W. Bush - "I never actually read Superfudge."

Samuel L. Jackson - "You will never know what was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, Mother Fucker."

Ryan Seacrest - "I'm overrated."

Ray Romano - "I don't think anyone really liked me."

Pamela Anderson - "At least I had big boobs."

Ozzy Osbourne - "Clean the bats out of my freezer please."

David Letterman - "I stole the top ten idea from Jay Leno."

Jon Hamm - "Fine, you can look at it but no pictures."

16 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Seacrest, we already knew you were overrated. And Clinton is so busted.

Addman said...

Sam Jackson - English motherfucker, I do not speak it.

Mark said...

I don't think Ray Romano was that bad. It wasn't really his fault that show wasn't as funny as I used to think it was.

A Beer For The Shower said...

Lindsay Lohan - "I probably should have spent a bit more money on fixing my meth mouth."

Tony Van Helsing said...

Lady GaGa - I'm really a man.

Ms. A said...

What, no baby announcement???

Shockgrubz said...

Man, that South Park reference had my buddies cracking up! And I can see number one being true.....and as hilarious as you pen it! Keep writing the jokes man, laughter is my RX.

Adam said...

the briefcase just had a lightbulb.

Baby Sister said...

Oh come on, Ray is slightly humorous.

Birgit said...

I know what was in that briefcase...and Ryan Seacrest wants it sewn back on

The Blue Grumpster said...

Monica to Hillary: "You can eat me like a pizza but.... just the cheese."

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Good stuff. I like Ryan's best, but I'm doubtful he'd ever admit it.

xoRobyn

Chuck said...

Hillary's is priceless. I could have stopped there and had a great day!!

David Oliver said...

I had forgotten all about the briefcase. Glad to finally find out it was just a light bulb. So now I don't give a shit what Samuel L. Jackson says on his deathbed.

Gina Gao said...

Hillary Clinton's "confession" was hilarious.

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

Pat Tillett said...

They all are good, but Hillary's comment made a little coffee come out of my nose.