I am really just here to humor you. I can guarantee some laughter and if you are not completely satisfied with my answers please send your complaints to Bob Vila, he knows what to do with them.
(1) What is your favorite TV show of all time?
The one with that guy that does the thing, it also has that girl who does ya know. It takes place in the house with the rooms. It was so funny but I'm sure you remember too.
(2) What is the worst job you've ever had?
I used to be a porn critic. Do you know how hard it is to sit through a whole porno day after day?
(3) Name one toy that, according to your parents, you loved as a child.
That's an easy one. My penis.
(4) Bert or Ernie?
I would answer this question but Big Bird is standing right behind me.
(5) If you could have lunch with any person, who would it be?
ALF. We have so much in common. I love cats.