Thursday, December 30, 2010

A Movie Review, You Don't Say?

Okay so it has been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long since I have done a movie review. You are probably wondering how long. Well I will tell you if you can just sit still and stop hitting your sister. My last movie review was May 31st!!! WTF?!?! What have I been doing? I know I have seen movie since then. I am very disappointed in myself and so should you. After this post I will sit in the corner for a timeout wearing my dunce cap. I got it from Santa, it's made of sharp cheddar, mmmmm. Now let's get this wagon train a movin'.

My sister knows that I love movies so she got me super saver movie tickets for Christmas, eight of them to be exact. She also threw in some SnoCaps, Butterfinger Bites and Goobers. She buys them in bulk so she can get a discount. I think it breaks down to like $6 or $7 a ticket which is well worth it since they rape you at the theaters. Nicole and I decided (well more my decision than hers, I kind of forced her) to see True Grit. Now before I get into the juicy details I want to start with a little negative to boil your blood a little. So essentially we have free tickets to see this movie. When we get our tickets for the movie at the window the girl tells us that they are allowed to charge a surcharge for certain movies and we owed them $3 ($1.50 per ticket for those of you struggling with the math). $3 is not a lot of dinero but it is the principle of the matter. What is the point of super saver tickets if they can charge you extra fees?!?! Fucking bullshit.This girl was a bitch too. I have gotten these tickets from my sister before and I have never run into this problem. I think this girl was making it up and was pocketing the money. Now that I got that out of my system, onto the review.

First off, I love the Coen brothers. They write and direct some awesome flicks. If you haven't seen and loved The Big Lebowski than there is something wrong with you. Right Pat? If you haven't seen the trailer or commercials for True Grit then you must be living under a rock with Patrick Star. I heard from someone that it wasn't suppose to be a remake of the 1969 True Grit starring John Wayne but it appeared to me that it was with the character names and synopsis but I haven't seen the John Wayne version so I can't be sure on that. I would assume that the John Wayne version is more westerny and not modernized like this one.

The new True Grit stars Jeff Bridges (who is full of awesomesauceness), Matt Damon, Hailee Steinfeld, Josh Brolin and Barry Pepper. The simple plot of the movie is the Earth is attacked by aliens on July 4th and much of the major cities get destroyed. No, that doesn't sound right. I think that is the plot of Independence Day. Wait let me think for a second, it will come to me......(playing Jeopardy music)

Ah huh, got it! Hailee Steinfeld's character Mattie hires Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) who is a tough, drunk U.S. Marshall to track down her father's murderer. Matt Damon plays a Texas Ranger named LeBouef who helps along the way. I know exactly what you are thinking. You think they should of cast Chuck Norris as the Texas Ranger since he has Texas Ranger acting experience. Well I concur with your thoughts. As much as I like Matt Damon I think Chuck would of brought some more whoop-ass to the scene. Come to think of it he could of played all the roles and directed and worked the camera all at the same time. (See previous post to learn more about Chuck Norris).

I have never seen or heard of Hailee Steinfeld before this movie. She deserves an award for her performance. She was superb. Her and Bridges were a dynamic pair. Her character is very spunky and assertive. She can light some fires under some asses. I don't think anyone else can pull off the eye patch like Jeff Bridges, not even a real pirate. I wonder if his wife asks him to wear it in the bedroom? That has to throw off your depth perception a little bit. 'Honey, you're about 3 feet from the hole.' Jeff's performance was also amazing. Coen brothers movies always have excellent dialogue. There was just the right amount of humor in this film not too make it cheesy. I would throw in some of my favorite lines but I don't want to spoil it for you. I try to tell you as little as possible so as not to ruin anything for you. A true review you can't use.

I want to see the original John Wayne version to see how this one holds up. I'm sure I will like the new one better. I'm not a big true western fan. I like westerns that aren't really westerns if you know what I mean. If you don't, it's alright, I'm special, I took the short bus to school.

I highly recommend True Grit. You kind of don't really know what is going to happen. I give it 8 out of 10 stars. It currently stands as a 8.5 on IMDB with over 6,000 votes. How can over 6,000 people be wrong? Unless we are talking about Nazis then you have to rethink what we are discussing.

14 comments:

Tricia said...

My folks and I saw a movie on Xmas Eve and they wanted to see this one. I wanted to see Mark Wahlberg sweaty and half-naked, so with a 1 against 2 win, we saw The Fighter.

Here's my review of that one:

Mmmmmm.....delicious. :)

Now maybe I'll check out True Grit as well!

Andrew Green said...

Never saw the original, either....
I've heard positive things about this new one, but can't say I'm the biggest fan of westerns, in general.

By the way, is it just me, or has Jeff Bridges really become famous in the past year or so? He's everywhere all of the sudden!

Not that it's a bad thing. Bridges is among my favorite actors.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Did Nicole like it too, or is it more of a boy flick?
Alex gave it a rave review too, so it must be good.
xoRobyn

Oilfield Trash said...

Thanks for the review, I already had decided to see it.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Knew you'd dig it! This was Steinfeld's first film I believe. She was amazing. And this isn't really considered a remake since the Coen Bros. went back to the original source. (The book.)
And I think that cashier owes you popcorn!

baygirl32 said...

If I manage to get to a movie witout kiddo in tow, this is will be it

Baby Sister said...

Sounds like a good movie. I've been wanting to see it. Now I will for sure add it to the list.

Pat Tillett said...

It sounds like a winner to me. I had planned on seeing it and now I'm sure! Thanks for the review! Also thanks for the yucks...

Cheeseboy said...

Really want to see it, but I'll be pissed if I have to pay the "service fees". That is bull.

Mmmm Goobers.

And it might sound weird, but Matt Damon is my favorite actor. He is great in just about everything except Stuck On You.

Chuck said...

I would have shoved some of those Goobers up that cashiers nose if she had pulled that shit on me. Then I would have adjusted MY eyepatch! Thanks for the review and there was no chance of me missing this movie.

Copyboy said...

Yeah, I'm pretty psyched about it too. Happy New Year. BTW...made you blog of the day.

Geof said...

Grit is next on my list to see that theaters. Meant to see it over the break, but seeing Tron and Black Swan got in the way.

passionofthemom said...

Hubs and I have a "date" maƱana to see True Grit...but if I hadn´t made plans already, I would TOTALLY go see it after this review!! (The 1969 version is on Netflix, FYI...if you have Netflix, you should check it out. Also, it's been on AMC a lot lately.) I nearly had a very unladylike accident reading the parts about Jeff Bridges in bed with the eye patch!! HYSTERICAL!! And also had a fit of giggles about Chuck Norris deserving Damon's part, since he has all that TX Ranger experience. Truly, you slay me!! xD Thanks for a KICKASS review, PTM!!

passionofthemom said...

And I say FUCK that cashier. Fuck her right in her ear with Lady Gaga's dick. LOL!