Thursday, November 4, 2010

New Game Show

Welcome to the Celebrity Marriage Game Show. I ask a celebrity couple that has been married at least a few years some questions to test how much they know about each other. With us today are Roger and Jessica Rabbit from the hit movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

PTM: Roger and Jessica, I asked both of you questions back stage. We are going to see how well you know each other. I am going to ask the questions again and you will reveal your answers. It's sort of like the newlywed game but for couples that have been married awhile. Let's get started.

PTM: Roger where did you two have your first kiss?
Roger: Oh it was j-j-just so special, I snuck in while she was performing and put something in her drink, they said it was a "sugar" pill,, she fell asleep like an angel, I sm-sm-smelled her pits and got some sugar!
Jessica: I can’t believe you said that, my bunny! (Whacking him on the head with the card) It was at the playboy mansion, remember? You had a tequila carrot shot, and I had you.

PTM: What is Jessica's favorite food?
Roger: Jessica is rather fond of the Smorgasboard restaurant in Toontown, it's all she can eat pickled platypussss, it tastes like chicken.
Jessica: (Glaring at Roger) What’s wrong with you? You know I’d do anything for your chocolate covered carrot, darling!

PTM: What is Jessica's bra size?
Roger: (holds paws out, does back flip) Rogersized!!
Jessica: My bra is a one-size-fits-all, sugar.

PTM: What is Jessica's favorite sexual position?
Roger: The neighbor recommended one that he thought she might like, I have not tried it yet, it has feathers and ju-ju bes.
Jessica: I always liked churches, ministers, and the basic missionary. Anything else confuses him. As you can tell, he’s a bit of an idiot.

PTM: If Jessica were to describe you in two words what would they be?
Roger: Pellet dropper.
Jessica: Long eared, hare brained, and sexy as any long eared, hare brained guy could be.

PTM: Who is Jessica's celebrity crush?
Roger: Some guy who's blog she reads, he's some kind of breakfast chef/superhero.
Jessica: Jack Black revs my engine. Once you go Jack.,,.well, it’s getting real hot in here, honey.

PTM: Would Jessica sleep with me for $1000?
Roger: Maybe if you were a breakfast chef/superhero? She likes to call me her "waffle toast guy" sometimes, shes s-s-so silly
Jessica: No. You’re cute for Powdered Toast and all, but I prefer to get my bunny hopping – if you know what I mean (Wink, wink).
PTM: What is the first thing that attracted you to Roger?
Jessica: His long, erect ears. I think he was excited to see me.
Roger: She loved my long erect ears

PTM: What is Roger's favorite cartoon?
Jessica: Me, silly.
Roger: Simon Says

PTM: How many licks does it take Roger to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Jessica: Oh, we like that game! He’s fast. Roger does it in 3 licks. I do it in 2  (Wink. Wink).
Roger: I love soda and sticky tape!

PTM: Who is Roger's least favorite Spice Girl?
Jessica: Vanilla Spice. He says she isn’t a real singer.
Roger: Dirty Spice! Or was that Xtina Aguilera?  (Eyes pop out of head) Zowzerzzzz! She's beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring her down!!

PTM:: What does Roger think your best feature is?
Jessica: That’s a really hard one, really hard. (Giggle. Giggle) My buxom, supple pinkie toes.
Roger: CaZONGAS!!!!!!!!

PTM: What is Roger's favorite sexual position?
Jessica:  Yes, my Roger’s in favor of sex. He just needs to turn the GPS on first to find his way around. 
Roger: The ones where she joins me wearing a Michelin Man costume and a can of fix-a-flat. I love air!

PTM: What is Roger's biggest phobia?
Jessica: Chuck E. Cheese. Can you blame the guy?
 Roger: Anvils being dropped on me.

PTM: You two have been married over 20 years and it doesn't seem like you've ever met. I think you had one matching answer. Jessica, I think you have hypnotized Roger with your cazongas. The puddle of saliva is getting too big for the maintenance staff to keep up with. Well that's our show folks. Come back next time where we will have another celebrity couple to harass....err question.

I would like to thank RawknRobyn and Invisible Seductress for playing the parts of Jessica and Roger Rabbit. Robyn was Jessica and Seductress was Roger. Great answers ladies. Go give them some love now.


Copyboy said...

You know it amazes me they've been married for over 20 years. He doesn't look a day over 4. said...

We didn't even see each other's answers, either. I like the way me and my bunny played off of each other, completely clueless and all. I always do. Wink, wink.
PS Thanks for the interview, sugar.

The Invisible Seductress said...

After the show, she took my chocolate carrot.

Oilfield Trash said...

As always a very entertaining post from you.

Bossy Betty said...

Long ears always do it for me too!

TS Hendrik said...

Great job guy and gals. Very funny and disturbing. Loved it!

Marlene said...

CaZONGAS! LOL!!!! said...
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Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Very funny! Glad I don't need a GPS for sex. said...

I meant that Seductress and I are weirdly similar, cuz I almost wrote Bazongas. Sorry. I'll stop now. My mind is sicker than sick. xo

baygirl32 said...

very funny!

Marnie said...

Very funny!

Hart Johnson said...

"I'm not really bad. I'm just drawn that way."

I adore Jessica Rabbit... poor, misunderstood toon...

The Man-Cave said...

Robyn was awesome playing the part of Jessica Rabbit and Seductress killed as Roger. Funny stuff as always PTM

Baby Sister said...

Those ears...they do it every time.

Well done Robyn and Seductress. :)

Heff said...

"chocolate covered carrot" ?? what are you people "into" ? lol !!

Unknown said...

This was very entertaining, clever and naughty! Loved it. :)

Cheeseboy said...

You two have some serious comedic chemistry. You should do a Vegas show! Or a Vegas blog. Either way, you two should meet in Vegas.

Tgoette said...

LOL! Awesome stuff by all! And just a bit too, ahem, stimulating if you know what I mean. Well, gotta go peel my carrot! Hilarious!

Bill Lisleman said...

a funny bunny with a hot carrot top. Great questions and answers.