Friday, November 12, 2010

Mr. Peanut vs Mr. Monopoly

It's about time we decide which lovable character looks better in a cane and top hat. I list some pros and cons about each of them and then you decide who is better based on whatever criteria you want to use.

MR. PEANUT

Pros

  •  Is the mascot for an entire company
  • Uses his cane to rescue kittens from trees
  • Knows how to rock a monocle
  • Can speak 11 different languages
  • Has never cheated on a test
  • Was once the mayor of Fargo, North Dakota
  • He tastes delicious

Cons
  • He has high blood pressure from all the salt
  • Carries around pornography under his hat
  • Never learned how to ride a bike
  • Sexual harasses women, men, plants and goldfish, especially at work
  • Can't grow facial hair
  • Has battled with bulimia most of his life
  • He doesn't actually need the cane, he is not handicapped, only pretending to be

MR. MONOPOLY

Pros

  • Sports a sexy mustache
  • Can recite the alphabet backwards while gargling milk
  • Owns the rights to the best selling board game
  • Still has all his own teeth
  • Had sex with Marilyn Monroe before JFK
  • He is the 14th richest man in the world
  • Gives blood every month
Cons

  • Never washes his hands after using the bathroom
  • He beat up Wilfred Brimley for no good reason
  • He smells like pickles and burnt toast
  • Gave Marilyn Monroe an STD
  • Hasn't made monopoly 3D yet
  • Trips people with his cane for fun
  • Has never seen the movie E.T. the Extra Terrestrial

Time to vote for your favorite cane-wielding-top-hat-wearing character. All the votes will be counted 3 times for accuracy. Absentee ballots for those of you in space are not being accepted at this time.



16 comments:

Guilty of Gossip said...

This one is tough!!!

I have to go with Mr. Peanut partly because he rocks the monocle like a champ and partly because he carries his own porn with him- that's innovation at its finest!

Oilfield Trash said...

I am going with Mr Monopoly because he banged a hot woman.

TS Hendrik said...

He beat up Brimley for no reason? Considering the reputation I've developed for wishing harm on Brimley I'm going to do a little PR here and vote for the Peanut.

baygirl32 said...

Mr Monopoly gets my vote. (as much as I like a man sporting a monocle)

Heff said...

The MONOPOLY GUY !!!

Gemma said...

Mr Monopoly because mr peanuts is a nonentity in the UK. I approve of his monocle though.

Chuck said...

Gotta go for the nut, if for no other reason than he gets out more. And he has educated the human race that dogs really do like nuts (not always just their own).

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I have a soft place in my heart for short men. I vote for Mr. Monopoly.
xo

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If it's based solely on looks, I'm voting for the peanut. That and I'm hungry.

Baby Sister said...

I go for Mr. Monopoly, cause I loved that game growing up.

Georgina Dollface said...

Oh my, that is a tough one. But I'm going to go with Mr. Peanut. I've seen him play mascot soccer and anyone that can get up after the indignity of being tackled by the Pilsbury Dough Boy is pretty awesome in my book. I don't even think Mr, Monopoly has his own mascot outfit. - G

Bossy Betty said...

Any walking peanut (even if he does need a cane) with a monocle wins my vote!

The Invisible Seductress said...

I gotta say I have to go with Mr. Monopoly. I think he had no choice but to kick Wilford Brimley's butt. Brimley's harshing on his look...AND he tried to steal the thimble to protect his fingers from the insulin shots that he swears on National TV does not hurt anymore with the new sugar meter he is hawking in the commercial.

So, uh, there you have it. I hope I swayed some future voters with the addition of this disturbing Brimley information.Mr. Monopoly cares about us all.

Chary Johnson said...

This is a really difficult decision but I am going to have to go with Mr. Peanut. Even though he sexually harasses individuals, I prefer this to the non-handwashing creepy old dude. :D

Copyboy said...

I heard that he and marilyn had quite a steamy romance.

Songsnwords said...

well tough one...I loved/still love monopoly...having said that, I love linguists, peanuts(we call them ground nuts) and clean shaven look not necessarily in the same order... and being a cleanliness freak go for Mr. Peanut despite his bad boy ways...I mean we love our bad boy celebrities, don't we ???