Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Urinal Etiquette

This post is from the beginning of the year. I don't think anyone read it. I will have a fresh new post for tomorrow or Friday. Enjoy!


Do women know about urinal etiquette? Does every guy know all the rules? I have this game on my ipod touch called the urinal test. It is a pretty silly game but it's fun and gets lots of laughs. Basically there are 7 urinals and some of them are occupied, which one should you take? The basic idea is that the distance between users should be maximized, at the same time minimizing a newcomer's chance of getting too close.
Every guy has been faced with a predicament where he has to choose which urinal to do his business at. I hate it when the urinals don't have the dividers between them and you hope the guy next to you isn't staring at your junk. I also hate when the only urinal available is the low one made for little kids and hobbits. And what is with the ones that go all the way to the floor? I'm not a big fan of peeing on my shoes. You also have to watch out for the random splatter affect that boggles the minds of scientists. You will start peeing and all of a sudden it mysteriously shoots back at you.
The number one urinal rule is: if I'm holding my dick don't talk to me. That's a big no-no. For some reason some of you guys out there think it's okay to make idle chitchat at the urinal but you are incorrect. The only acceptable time is when you are both washing your hands and/or drying them. Please follow all rules of urinal etiquette. You will not be asked a second time.

10 comments:

Tricia said...

My brother came walking out of a bar bathroom once, laughing like a crazy man. Apparently in the bathroom, a guy walked up and started peeing next to another guy.

Guy #2 made a face, sniffed loudly and inquired "asparagus?"

Guy #1 laughed and confirmed.

Meanwhile my brother had to finish peeing without spraying everywhere do to convulsive laughter.

Oilfield Trash said...

Another fine post full of advice.

TS Hendrik said...

My number one rule is, assess whether or not anyone else is in the bathroom and then lock the door. Than I'm free to do as I please.

Baby Sister said...

Lol. One of the reasons I'm glad I'm not a guy...

Copyboy said...

I will indeed. And i won't use the middle one! Honest!

Chuck said...

How about the stadium days where guys just walked in and started peeing in a giant hog trough...at concerts...all trashed and incapable of aiming, you get the idea.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Sounds reasonable to me. I don't even like chatting with other women, behind closed stall doors, when I'm doing my business. xo

Cheeseboy said...

I'm still learning the rules and I am 34. Just when I think I have learned them all...

Georgina Dollface said...

I'm so glad I am a girl and that I get to do my business in a stall. With a DOOR on it. Fancy that. I was at a conference last week and the washrooms in the hotel had stalls that had floor to ceiling walls. No gaps underneath. They were like little mini rooms. Why can't all pubic bathrooms be like that? - G

passionofthemom said...

How does this etiquette apply to those effing douchenozzles who talk on their cell phones while utilizing the urinal?? Enquiring minds want to know! (Hubs likes to make their conversation uncomfortable by bringing on a round of hearty bodily noises to interrupt their day. LOL!)