Thursday, May 2, 2019

Thoughts of the husband while the wife is in labor


"I am glad I am not a woman"

"She can do this but anal sex is too painful?"

"Is this here poop face?"

"Did I remember to lock the front door?"

"It has been awhile since I've had some Taco Bell"

"Is it wrong that I'm super horny right now?"

"This thing is gonna be such a cock block"

"Is this nurse giving me the 'fuck me' eyes right now?"

"I am so glad she is not giving birth on 9/11"

"It look like her vagina is blowing a bubble"

"Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy and....?"

"I should write a blog post about this experience"

7 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Is that what I missed?

Em-Musing said...

LOL! Too funny. I think the seventh dwarf is Horny.

Liz A. said...

You're supposed to be filming the birth for posterity. Don't you know anything? And making sure to not capture anything that the kiddo can't see when you put that film in their senior graduation reel ;)

Tanza Erlambang said...

make me smile...
thank you for sharing....

Birgit said...

Thankfully I never gave birth but I would add, “could this be like a watermelon coming out of my penis?” The mess afterward is never talked about..thankfully.

Shockgrubz said...

Those thoughts can be said aloud when the wife's screams reach about 100 db. No one else hears them and it's really cathartic to get it out.

Nick Wilford said...

It's the ultimate being at a loose end, isn't it? Of course, none of these things crossed my mind.