Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Weird Laws: Part XII

The next installment of U.S. weird laws.

ILLINOIS

In Galesburg it is illegal to maintain an animal that disturbs others with it's odor or noise. Fran Drescher is banned from this town.

In Galesburg it is illegal for a bicycler to practice any acrobatic or fancy riding on any street. Is riding with no hands considered fancy?

INDIANA

It is illegal to inhale glue fumes. What will the elementary school kids do at recess?

It is illegal for a liquor store to sell candy. Good thing I get my liquor at the candy store.

IOWA

Tanning salons are required to post warnings about sunburns. I am going to recommend that these warning signs be posted at the beach. People are unaware of sunburns.

In Cedar Rapids it is illegal to tell fortunes. I was wondering why I never saw any gypsies there.

KANSAS

In Derby it is illegal to damage vending machines. I don't care about the law. If that machine takes my dollar I am opening up a can of whoop-ass on it.

In Overland Park it is illegal to picket funerals. I guess they will have to stick to picketing weddings, birthdays and hide 'n' seek.

KENTUCKY

Any person who interferes with a public speech can be fine up to $500. That goes for crying babies as well.

It is illegal to sell dyed chicks unless you are selling more than 6 of them. It's because you have to have all the colors of the rainbow.

LOUISIANA

Fake boxing or wrestling matches are against the law. Hulk Hogan isn't going to like this.

It is illegal to make insulting remarks to a contestant at a boxing match. If he punches like a girl he is going to hear it from my megaphone.

8 comments:

Tricia said...

This SO makes me want to go to Kentucky and sell someone FIVE dyed chicks. WTF!?!?

Hart Johnson said...

I think the dyed chicks thing is to keep them from being made fun of by un-dyed chicks. You get enough of them, they have a nice solid peer group to fight back the bullies.

Oilfield Trash said...

This reminds me that I need to post my post of crazy Texas laws.

Baby Sister said...

Lol. The dyed chicks one cracked me up.

Cheeseboy said...

Your comment on sunburns was the funniest. But I do think that all fake fighting of any kind should be outlawed.

Teachinfourth said...

But of course EATING the glue is okay...

Chuck said...

I agree with the whoop-ass on the vending machine...it had it coming.

Ms. A said...

I guess Illinois has all the animals under control and smellin' sweet!