Tuesday, April 14, 2020
Cereal mascot rehab
Every cereal mascot has had to go to rehab for something at least once. Here are their addictions.
Froot Loops, Toucan Sam - Snorting Cocaine (obviously)
Frosted Flakes, Tony the Tiger - Tickling strangers
Cap'n Crunch, Cap'n Crunch - Playing Candy Crush
Lucky Charms, Lucky the Leprechaun - Chronic Masturbation
Honey Smacks, Dig'em Frog - Picking his nose
Cocoa Puffs, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird - Drinking Decaf Coffee
Honey Nut Cheerios, Buzz Bee - Playing Fortnite
Trix, Trix Rabbit - Eating Twinkies
Count Chocula, Count Chocula - Instagram
Rice Krispies, Snap, Crackle & Pop - Watching the movie Legally Blonde
Life, Mikey - Pornhub, specifically Bukkake
Super Golden Crisp, Sugar Bear - Licking envelopes
Frosted Mini-Wheats, Mini - Sharpening pencils
Raisin Bran, Sunny - Playing Candy Land
Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Crazy Squares - Shoplifting
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7 comments:
I guess Twinkies aren't just for kids.
Who licks envelopes anymore?
I think the Raisin Bran is too busy with Bingo
Tony, it's no touchy! Six feet away, man.
I heard, while in rehab, Count Chocula kept trying to bite the Toucan. Snap, Crackle and Pop we’re getting it on with Captain Crunch who still keeps his hat on. Sugar Bear has been found dead..too many envelopes that he licked. Lucky’s hands are pretty raw and he needs some lotion.
Never realised drinking decaf merits rehab!!!!
I knew I was simpatico with Cap'n Crunch.
This reminds me of an eighties era standup routine by Eddie Murphy. (Yes, I'm that old ~sigh~) The bit about cereal names representing family member is hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfNW5yqKwEw
Wait, it was 1982? I'm not *that* old. Heh... I found an audio recording about five years later.
Be well!
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