Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Pros and Cons: Toilet Paper

Cleans your ass
Is a good listener
Doubles as a tissue
Perfect for decorating trees with
A mummy's best friend
Used to make boobies look bigger
Was secretly involved in finding Waldo
2 ply is like rubbing a baby's bottom
TP is fun to say when in a hurry
Doesn't have much flavor
Doesn't come in other colors
That first piece is hard to start
Is always clogging your hot date's toilet
Doesn't come in 10 ply
Is wanted in 7 states for racketeering and arson
Has a longtime feud with toilet brush
Doesn't absorb like paper towel
Gave an STD to Megan Fox


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That last one might not be a con.
Do you really want it in colors? I'd think brown would be a bad choice.

Birgit said...

I am not sure I would want it in colours like red or purple as STD's would come to mind. I would say and joint pro and con are when cats find the TP-cute to see them go after it but con when they have it in pieces all on the floor and you have to roll it back on again.

Momma Fargo said...

LOL. I concur. Colored toilet paper might be the con rather than the lack of...I think it would make for a rainbow bum.

Adam said...

I wish America used bidets like most of the world

Al Penwasser said...

One ply can give you a prostate exam.
If you get a little carried away.

Baby Sister said...

Oh yes, I decorated many a tree with TP when I was younger. And let me tell you, those trees were extremely grateful for me beautifying them.

Dragon's Blossom said...

WAIT A SECOND! How did the toilet paper roll help you find Waldo??? How did I not know this?