Friday, May 20, 2011

Gary's Thoughts

Have you ever wondered what Gary (SpongeBob's pet) is actually saying and thinking. Well, I am here to translate for you.

What you hear vs. What he is actually saying

Meow = I'm hungry

Meow = I'm thirsty

Meow = I need a bath

Meeow = I'm sleepy

Meoow = I have to pee

Meow? = Why do you always wear the same thing everyday?

Meow! = I'm horny and I need to get me some!


Meoww = I just pooped in your bed

Mmeow = I could go for a taco

Gary's thoughts

"I wonder if SpongBob is gay"

"How is it that Patrick hasn't died from stupidity yet?"

"Why is it that SpongeBob is a freakin' sponge but he can talk and I'm a real animal and all I can do is meow like a fucking cat?"

"I've had an itch on my back for 3 years, it's driving me crazy!!"

"He lives in a pineapple under the sea, Spongeb..... DAMMIT!! I hate that song"

I wish Angelina Jolie would adopt me"

"If I have to hear SpongeBob whacking it one more time, I'm going to kill myself"

"I miss Charles in Charge, that was a good show, even though Scott Baio is a tool"

"I wonder what bacon tastes like?"

"I'm almost positive that Mr. Krabs has some with his money"


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Now we know!

Bossy Betty said...

You have saved me hours of time.

Ms. A said...

I hate when the grands watch that! Glad it wasn't around when my kids were young.

Miss Rosie said...

thanks for clearing that up. I am mortified that my kids love watching a show where "Mr. Crab's live in bikini bottom" I'm sure there is no link to an STD there at all.

BTW - I heart Gary

Oilfield Trash said...

I love Gary. And I love this post!!!

I think this is your best one of all time.

Chuck said...

That is as complete an analysis of a Spongebob character as I have ever read. Bravo, Squiggy!

Cheeseboy said...

GAry is so right about Charles in Charge.

Baby Sister said...

Lol. Hilarious.

Pat Tillett said...

You really have a crack research team to unearth all these facts!
Too funny...