Friday, May 20, 2011

Gary's Thoughts

Have you ever wondered what Gary (SpongeBob's pet) is actually saying and thinking. Well, I am here to translate for you.

What you hear vs. What he is actually saying

Meow = I'm hungry

Meow = I'm thirsty

Meow = I need a bath

Meeow = I'm sleepy

Meoow = I have to pee

Meow? = Why do you always wear the same thing everyday?

Meow! = I'm horny and I need to get me some!

MEOW = HELLO

Meoww = I just pooped in your bed

Mmeow = I could go for a taco

Gary's thoughts

"I wonder if SpongBob is gay"

"How is it that Patrick hasn't died from stupidity yet?"

"Why is it that SpongeBob is a freakin' sponge but he can talk and I'm a real animal and all I can do is meow like a fucking cat?"

"I've had an itch on my back for 3 years, it's driving me crazy!!"

"He lives in a pineapple under the sea, Spongeb..... DAMMIT!! I hate that song"

I wish Angelina Jolie would adopt me"

"If I have to hear SpongeBob whacking it one more time, I'm going to kill myself"

"I miss Charles in Charge, that was a good show, even though Scott Baio is a tool"

"I wonder what bacon tastes like?"

"I'm almost positive that Mr. Krabs has some with his money"

9 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Now we know!

Bossy Betty said...

You have saved me hours of time.

Ms. A said...

I hate when the grands watch that! Glad it wasn't around when my kids were young.

Miss Rosie said...

thanks for clearing that up. I am mortified that my kids love watching a show where "Mr. Crab's live in bikini bottom" I'm sure there is no link to an STD there at all.

BTW - I heart Gary

Oilfield Trash said...

I love Gary. And I love this post!!!

I think this is your best one of all time.

Chuck said...

That is as complete an analysis of a Spongebob character as I have ever read. Bravo, Squiggy!

Cheeseboy said...

GAry is so right about Charles in Charge.

Baby Sister said...

Lol. Hilarious.

Pat Tillett said...

You really have a crack research team to unearth all these facts!
Too funny...