Tuesday, December 3, 2019

If I won the lottery I would ....



 Castrate all the people that society deems dumb 

Block out every other parking spot in a parking lot so no one can ever park next to you

Create a mandatory dress code for anyone that shops at Walmart

Close all stores on Sunday and make everyone stay home

Introduce my own flavors of Doritos

Get rid of pennies forever

Turn off cable and the Internet for a few hours each week to force families to spend time together

Resurrect Robin Williams

Create a real version robot from Bicentennial Man

Repopulate the giraffe population

Create a miniature version of Jurassic Park

Bring back Toys 'R' Us but rename it Toys For Me but only I can shop there

Create another Mount Rushmore but use the heads of The Golden Girls

Cancel The Simpsons, you had a good run but enough already

Make Seinfeld shoot another final episode

Get trained as an astronaut, fly to the moon and play hacky sack

Make Wednesday part of the weekend

Give everyone a free boob job

Discontinue yellow Starburst

Dig a hole to China






17 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That first one would keep you busy for a very long time.
We stopped watching The Simpsons twenty years ago. Scary how long it's been on.
I'm old enough I remember when stores were closed on Sunday!
Good list. I'd also want my very own road. No one gets to drive on it but me.

anne marie in philly said...

YASSSSSSSSS to the stupid and pennies!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I never liked the show Seinfeld so I thought the last episode was great - they finally got theirs.

One of my authors wrote a book about digging a hole to China, so got you covered on the how-to.

betty said...

I liked them all especially closing stores on Sundays and also having the internet go down periodically so people can spend time with each other.

betty

Adam said...

Shovels are like 15 dollars, get to work.

Jax said...

I've never been to Walmart, but I have seen the infamous "People of Walmart" videos!! Based on that, I have to say this is a great idea.

TruleyTexan said...

Make the green Skittles lime again. The green apple flavor does not go with the others.

Chris Lally said...

I'm gonna buy you a lottery ticket:)

JACKIESUE said...

I'd discontinue skittles all together..them suckers ruin teeth

Mary Kirkland said...

Ok, a miniature version of Jurassic Park would be cool but do you mean miniature dinosaurs or a small park with full size dinos? Because if they're full size, they can escape. I mean, you've seen the movies, right? lol

Elephant's Child said...

You will be very, very busy. Good luck - and have fun.

DEZMOND said...

What did pennies ever do to you? You'd give yourself a boob job???

Liz A. said...

I will always object to the evil toy store, no matter the incarnation. I have stories from the way too long that I worked there.

I could so use a boob job. Reduction, obvs...

You must specify how much you'd want to win, though. I did win the lottery this year. Not a big jackpot, though. And there are $5 wins and $20 wins...

Denise Covey said...

Hey, I sort of hope you never win the lottery. Just cuz society says someone's dumb, doesn't mean they are, just sayin'

Tanza Erlambang said...

chance to get an accident is greater than to win a lottery....
so, I never dream to win lottery

Kelly Steel said...

Ha! I also never dream of winning lottery as knowing my luck I would never do!

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